Going Home to Heaven
by
Jean Victoria Norloch
Grave Distractions Publications
Nashville, Tennessee
www.gravedistractions.com
© 2010 Niki Leach
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Cataloging-In-Publication Data
Norloch, Jean Victoria
Coming Home to Heaven, Smashwords Edition
Print Edition ISBN: 9780982912805
1. Fiction 2. Spiritual
Cover Photo and Interior Art: Jean Victoria Norloch
Graphic Design and Interior Layout: Brian Kannard
Editing: Cheryl Reels and Laura Kannard
For more information visit: www.gravedistractions.com
Editorial Note: The use of bolding and italics is at the insistence of the author. While the convention is not thought of as a generally accepted practice in printing, Grave Distractions Publications respects Ms. Norloch's artistic authority in choosing this convention. Author is responsible for all content.
Also by Jean Victoria Norloch
Truth: Novel
For more information about Truth: A Novel visit
www.gravedistractions.com/truth.php
FOR VICTORY
GODS ARMY CANNOT BE FOUND IN CHURCHES
HIS ANGELS DO NOT WORSHIP HIM IN TEMPLES
AND WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO KNEEL AT HIS FEET
THEY DO SO WILLINGLY
OUT OF GRATITUDE FOR THE GIFTS HE HAS BESTOWED
NEVER OUT OF FEAR
Introduction
I have recently come to a place where knowledge of self is no longer something one must seek – it simply is
This place is the "here", where all questions are answered, all past actions forgiven, and an opportunity to move on without regret is given. There is a quiet calm acceptance of what was, what will be, and what is. Here the warriors, demons, witches, fairies and other countless wandering spirits meet to discuss unimportant issues of human evolution and the ongoing war for humanities freedom. Here the ancients gather to observe and learn so that in the years to come this seemingly never-ending war will finally cease. Here is where I and others like me have chosen to rest and to gather our strength. We unite our power and share our knowledge in preparation for our final battle.
There was a period when I believed that if we do not win this time, we would simply choose to come back and fight again. After much discussion, I believe we are agreed that this time we dare not lose...
I have come to this place to learn, so I can share with you my own personal truths. My hope is that you too may someday come here. Not to rest as we do, but to live in love and harmony as humans were meant to do.
I am Feenx. One of many names I have chosen for myself over the years. My earthly name means Yahweh’s great Victory for the People. I am an ancient traveller of time and space come back perhaps for what will be my final visit to bring to you a message of hope.
I watched long ago as this great experiment began. From the time of the birth of Adam and Eve I have continued to return. I have spoken to God, have heeded the advice of Wisdom. I have been embraced by the Mother. I feel Gaia’s pain and I weep for her sorrow. Bravely, I move forward knowing that as I walk this earthly plane... Angel’s walk by my side.
I am nothing and everything. I am balance. And I am not alone...
All these things I am, but none of them matter to you. In the end, these things make no difference because it is not for me to set you free. The task is, and always has been, yours. I am only a pen. I am a tool used to send a message. I am a message you may or may not choose to hear.
I, and others like me, have come with love in our hearts in the hopes of opening yours. We are not your saviours. We are neither your angels; nor are we your Gods. We simply work for those that created you. Willing servants of a power too vast and beautiful to either comprehend or describe. When we are gone it will be you who decides your fate. You who will choose to live free or be shackled.
Eternal life or nothingness...your future is in your hands
I am Feenx and I have come here to rest, to learn, and to pass to you what they have chosen to teach.
I am Feenx and I am free...
In Memory of...
Those words written for and inspired by love. Nothing more, nothing less.
They are part of an ongoing quest for self awareness and eternal inner peace. As before I will leave it up to you, the reader, to decide: Do we really exist? Is it real?
Allow your heart and your spirit to be your guide. The truth you seek, the truth you are meant to find will come to you as you need. As for me, I have chosen for now to exit the world of the living and rest a while here in a place of quiet contemplation. It was not an easy choice to make, there is yet much work to be done. Without my strength, without knowledge, and without a whole spirit, my work cannot and never will be complete.
So for a time I have chosen to come home to heaven and step inside myself. Remember who I am. Who I was. Who it is I have chosen to be...
I have learned much since I came here. There is much I wish to share. Conversations, stories, and revelations from all the many wonderful creatures that also come to this place to rest. Getting here was a long painful journey and one I will no doubt one day finish sharing with you.
It is the truths of the now I have been asked to write. So write them I shall. When this is done I will yet again return to life and rejoin those I have left behind...
Even now I do not know if those I left behind will wait. All I know is that this is what must be.
I have not yet sent a message to explain "the why". Though I know it is time and that the message will be understood. I do not wish to long ponder the pain and anguish the message may cause. Here in a place where time can and does stand still. It is time I wish to take. The time to recover and heal before severing the final connection.
This pace is not what I expected it to be. It is not a place of light and love, but a place of balance. Demons reside here living in harmony with fairies and Angels. No, it is not what I expected at all. Life, as they say, is "full of little surprises".
Hmmm...life? What is it really? A journey? A quest? An experience? Life is a challenge most assuredly. One can embrace it or fight it. Accept or deny it. Today, I choose to accept and with that acceptance comes the knowledge of all that I am. Strangely enough, I have been waiting for this day for weeks. In living here, I've wondered when the day would come to pick up my pen again.
It is the oddest things that reignite the fire within me. I am what I am. As I have chosen to be in this life, the fire must first go out before new life can be born. Dying really is not so bad, though occasionally it hurts those we love. The beauty and purity of rebirth far exceeds the pain and sorrow of loss. I tell you this now only so you may begin to understand why I have chosen to write at this time as I do.
This piece will not have in it a formal dedication, not this time. However, it belongs and was inspired by my love for a friend. He will one day read these words and I hope understands the gift I offer through them.
In my human state, I am a gypsy wanderer. One who loves passionately, openly, and wholly to all who wish to share my world. I am not cage-able, nor am I controllable. My loyalty to friends is undeniable. However, to the men in my life I am not and have never been faithful. Years of denial and a trail of broken hearts have brought me here to a place where truth can no longer be denied. I could wish to share myself with only one man/woman but it is sadly against my nature. The time will always come when I must wander on. It is after all the nature of the gypsy. To deny my nature is to deny myself; something I am afraid I am no longer allowed to do.
Here I sit. Again offering up the truths I have learned. I open myself again to you, the reader, so you too can openly embrace who and what you are...
I feel no shame in where I have been. There is no guilt for what I have done. There is only a calm acceptance of who I am and who I am to become. Today, I walked away from the human games and showed weakness to one who could at will destroy, in an attempt to save the destroyer himself. Perhaps he thinks I was saving myself. Perhaps I was, yet my spirit tells me it is better for both of us that he is left to be free...
To him and only him I dedicate this pouring out of spirit, my shedding of self and the resulting metamorphosis. I dedicate this to him in memory of what could have been. I offer this as my final gift to him... the growth and purification that you the reader will bear witness to.
To him and only him I dedicate this return to my natural state, this coming together of mind body and spirit. To him and only him I dedicate my journey home to heaven.
-Part 1-
Chapter 1
Assumption is the mother of all Deception
The Demon
And so our story continues...
As I said this place is not as one would expect it to be.
There are different levels here, very much akin to what humans would describe as heaven, earth and hell, different levels with different functions and housing different types of entities. Yet they exist not separate from one another as one would assume, they are connected. Three floors, if you will, of the same building. A whole unit internally divided with each separate sub-unit having its own distinct purpose.
The beings that come here transverse between floors easily, visiting back and forth with one another. At first glance one would assume that all those who reside here are comfortable on all levels yet there is a very strong distinction between where each chooses to spend most of their time. Those residing on the lower level are more interested in entertaining themselves and can often be found playing all sorts of games that are completely mindless and pointless. The second level, being a place of comradely conversation, is reserved mainly for interacting with one another. Whereas the highest level is where one goes for quiet contemplation, reflection, and meditation. It is on the second floor where the study of human nature takes place though conversations that do sometimes carry down a level. All of the conversation is open and honest. The observations made are not always in the most positive of tones; yet there is much concern here for the human race and the continued survival of mankind. Keep in mind though our words may anger or offend it is not out of spite or hate that we come.
I must also make it clear that we who have come here to rest have chosen to do so. We are free to come and go as we please. Daily, we venture out into reality to interact and learn from the humans living on earth. There are several of us currently residing here who frequently get together for long discussions, while many more who come to visit and share with us that which they have learned. Much like an old friend coming over for tea, these spirits enter merely for the pleasure of being with others like them. They are other spirits and entities who see through entirely non-human eyes.
I mentioned early on that the collection of spirits here are unique and varied. It is true that even here in this place of quiet tranquility a demon chooses for a time to reside. The demon is closely related to the highly energetic fairy, who for reasons known for the moment only to herself, has chosen to be the caretaker of this place. Preferring to fly off at odd times for frequent visits to earth, she is not often here. I believe she is a curious creature, who delights in the acquisition of knowledge. Her daily interactions with both the spirits here and the humans, she so often surrounds herself with, are brief. Even as fleeting as her visits are, the impact of her spirit is lasting and strong.
Still we exist. All of us different, and in perfect harmony with one another. You may think this unsettling, in fact you may think it quite mad, but to us this is the moment what we choose our every day existence.
You may be asking yourself why? I know if I were you that would be my first question. I do feel that "the why" of all of this will have to wait for the moment. Of course I can understand your desire to know "the how". That at least I can answer. Though I doubt very much you will believe. We all have come here by choice
Simple? I can well imagine you are sitting there scratching your head, completely bewildered by the whole scenario. How does one choose to go home to heaven? Who gives us the right? Where do we get the power?
All these things you will learn as you read through these pages. Let me assure you it is as basic and simple as deciding that momentarily this is where we wish to be. I realize the impact of that statement. Truly I do. Before we delve too deeply into "the how", let us for simply accept that it is so. I promise the rest you will come to understand in due time.
But not today... Today is for introductions and perhaps a deeper explanation of the different levels here. Down below, where I currently sit to write, is the domain of our resident demon. He is at the moment not home. Having chosen to fly off to BC, Canada, of all places, to do what he refers to as work. I can’t say that I understand much of what the demon does, though he did try to explain it. I know it involves the construction of something, the building up of things. For the life of me, I can’t even recall the term he uses. No matter really. He is not what you would consider a threat to you or your daily routine. In fact, I think I can safely say that the work he does has so little effect on humanity as a whole that the demon's existence is for the most part inconsequential to the lives of most humans.
The demon is exceptionally wise. Possessing knowledge that far exceeds many human priests, teachers, and politicians I have conversed with over the years. Perhaps it is his way of looking at things that allows for a much wider, and seemingly, clearer picture of the human condition. Although getting him to talk is something very similar to pulling teeth from a snarling Rottweiler; it is in the end well worth the effort. His keen sense of observation and his total lack of caring as to whether or not he offends leads to delightfully honest conversation.
The demon does as humans do in the real world out of necessity maintain a human facade which makes the transition from our safe haven to your world much more smooth. The human facade makes it far more comfortable for the odd human who accidently, and by the rare invitation, stumbles in our realm. I cannot imagine what would happen were you to see us as we are here. I doubt the average person would find it easy to hold a conversation with a glowing sphere of light, energy, and sound.
Communication with us may for the average human become either unbearable or impossible. In the interest of maintaining peace and insuring our ability to safely interact with humans, we here hold tight to the material state that is the glorious human body. This means that we here, as you do, have all the typical human needs and desires. For most of us we revel in the enjoyment of every emotion. We crave not so much the food, but the hunger that drives us to seek sustenance. For us here, and many of our kind, it is the human experience we are here to feel. We here find ourselves continually drawn back to the earthly plane and we choose to go home to heaven only long enough to rest.
Believe me, walking among you is not an easy task. We here do not feel at home in your world. The inundation of sight and sound is a constant struggle for us. We do not see as you do. Granted our human bodies perceive things as you perceive. We smell, taste, hear music, see colours, shapes and light; yet we see beyond these things as well. A tree to us is not merely a tree but a vibrant glowing collection of colour and energy with a constant ebb and flow of light and shadow. Through your eyes you understand that the trunk stops when you would no longer see bark. In the line between bark and air, there is nothing for your human eyes to perceive. To you it is merely a line. To see through our eyes, if eyes they are, is to acknowledge the existence of energy that extends beyond the tree. The energy reaching out to join, embrace, and to become one with the energy that flows from other trees nearby.
While traveling down a highway, you have all seen the waves of heat rising off the asphalt on a hot summer’s day. This is perhaps the closest I can come to describing what others like me see when they perceive the living form. This essence of energy, this wave if you will, of shimmering light is present in all things that are part of the earthly entity that sustains us. Continually shifting, ever connected, this is how our hearts know your world to exist.
That is of course only one example. Humans may think it would be beautiful but to combine our vision with normal invasions of sights and sounds can in fact be very confusing. For you a light may be bright, for us it is probably blinding. A sound for you may be loud, for those like me it may very well be mind-numbing. As I have said we have chosen to come and go among humans. We here have chosen to visit them in this world and in this time. We therefore have also chosen to pay the price of that choice.
Of course my friend the demon seems to be much more comfortable with his human form than most. Being a demon, he has neither need nor the desire to live by the rules of your world. He comes and goes as he pleases. The demon does as he wishes and feels nothing with regards to the impact his actions have on others. You may assume this causes a great deal of anguish to those the demon happens to meet. Remarkably, he is exceptionally honest about who and what he is. The demon makes no excuses for his choices. He simply states that those are his choices and does not feel the need to explain his actions. The demon simply acts and should he act in a manner that offends or damages the sensitive human nature, he will merely shrug his shoulders and apologize mildly stating, “I’m sorry I can’t be sorry, I am who I am”
The demon's contact with humans goes against the societal grain. He has no use for authority, rules, or regrets. Wishing only to exist among humans as himself, the demon is content with who he is and has no desire to influence those he meets. When on earth, the demon finds time only to play. He finds great entertainment and enjoyment in human games. When the demon does come home to heaven to rest, he shares with me his stories and the often comical observations about the human condition. For all his comments, he seems fundamentally unconcerned to whether or not humans ever fix the problems they through their blindness have caused. As he says, "It's their problem". I believe he finds human nature mildly interesting, but things such as material objects and worldly possessions do not hold his interest for long. It is the human wants and desires that intrigue him most and he unashamedly spends a great deal of time exploring all forms of human addiction. Drugs, alcohol and sex... These are the things he chooses to amuse himself with. Unlike a human dependent on outside sources of distraction, if these things are not available to him he is content simply just to be.
He is a fascinating creature, with whom I have spent much of my time with. A creature I dare say I have grown to love. Yes I admit it. I love a demon, knowingly, willingly and contentedly. I do not fear his influence on me. Though he will openly admit, even go so far as to warn me, that he is potentially dangerous. Warnings aside, we are for the moment quite happy to share our time and space.
No doubt, it would seem a contradiction to you that I would be so entranced by something apparently opposed to my nature. I am a warrior after all. A battle agent for the freedom of the human spirit. I hunger for a day when humans can join us and release themselves from their self-made prison. The fight is my task, my role, and my purpose. Yet, I share my time, my space, and my heart with an entity that cares not one-little-bit if humans ever figure it out. If you never become enlightened, then the demon will probably rejoice that he will continue to have a place to play.
Still this demon I love is not without feeling. He does have a heart and is in his own way capable of compassion and love. He has a strong connection to Mother Earth, Gaia, and I have seen him shed a tear over her suffering. On the off chance he likes you, or if you interest him, and peaks his curiosity enough he will do things for simply for the sake of making you smile. I very much wish for you to understand this is not because your joy brings him joy. Your joy or your sorrow have no effect on him. The demon will simply do nice things for you because he can. The knowledge that he has the power to make you smile drives him occasionally to use the power he possesses. Still I must stress again – his need to bring you joy has nothing to do with you. It is always, has always been, and will always be about him...
Nevertheless, when one understands these things it is much easier to appreciate the little things that demons do. Accept their gifts with an open heart. After all a gift is still a gift. A smile given is still a smile. At times, the demon does go out of his way to brighten my day. Even though I know why he does these things, I can still appreciate that these things are being done. Just the other day he sent me a message to tell me he had made me a snow angel while playing in the northern mountains of British Columbia. If the image of a demon lying spread eagle on a mountain side fluttering his limbs back and forth in an attempt to make somebody smile, does not bring a smile to your own face then perhaps you are yourself lacking a little romance and imagination. In the end, does it really matter that he simply did it because he could?
Complex doesn’t even begin to describe either the demon or the strangely happy unity we have all managed to achieve. This is us, this is for the moment how we choose to live. If you hang out long enough I promise to show you how...
As a point of interest, I have shared my work with our resident fairy and asked her if she is willing to share with me, and with you, the things she learns while fluttering out among the humans. I told her I would very much like to learn from her the why of who and what she is. Her response was beautiful in its simplicity.
“I can tell you what I’ve seen, I can tell you what I’ve learned but I can never tell you why. The why of who I am is not something I know – I simply am”
Coincidentally, her name means ‘Heavenly Wisdom’ though I will not bother to share with you the actual name as I am sure you would neither believe nor understand. So with the words of Heavenly Wisdom I for the moment rest my pen leaving you the reader to reflect on what all of us already know to be a truth.
I am who I am simply because I am...
Chapter 2
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein
So you have met our resident demon whose name means ‘Barbaric Spear of Liberty’. There is no point in bothering you with his actual name, it would be foreign to most of you. Though he is working on learning to speak as you do, trying to say his name in English would be an insult. The name spoken in his native tongue is fluid and meaningful and I dare not destroy its beauty.
You have also briefly met our resident fairy, and will get to know her quite well in the future. There is one other here who seems to gravitate towards our discussions. He, and I say ‘he’ only because as a human he is male, is I believe another ancient traveller. For the being time, he chooses not to share with us either his age or place of origin. In human form he is a young baby faced man who easily fools those he meets into thinking him innocent. However, when he decides to impart his own knowledge his energy is so strong that his body literally glows. I can only hope that when he leaves this place to wander among you he is able to control his enthusiasm. It would not do us any favours were he to be seen for what he truly is.
The ancient traveler also comes to this place to rest and learn, residing here among us with the intent to renew and strengthen the spirit he claims gets damaged daily by interaction with humans. Knowing he is not like them he complains often that it is difficult to spend time out there with people who have absolutely no idea as to the truth of their existence. He, like myself, gets frustrated by the human resistance to freedom. The ancient traveler does not understand how it is that you do not see. Old of spirit and young of body, he is still in the process of remembering who and what he is. The ancient traveler is more than willing to embrace the knowledge as it comes. Yet he is not so willing to actively go out and seek it.
Our ancient traveler has been on earth only a short time and has been coming home to heaven much longer than I. This place is literally his home and is the securest of places for him to reside. It is the one place he feels safe and sheltered from the dangers of your world. There are times when it is evident to all of us here that he desires not to leave; rather preferring to hide away from the materialistic energies that rule your world.
Occasionally the ancient traveler confides in one of us his disillusioned view of humanity. It is odd to see one with such a young face having such tired, knowing eyes. One grows accustomed to truly looking into another's eyes here. As the eyes truly are the window to the soul, all conversation takes place through that window. Things like body shape, movement, and the other coverings we choose to wear, are of little importance here. That strange human ritual you call reading body language is not needed by us here. Though for humans it is imperative when dealing with each other that one understands another's body language so one can avoid being deceived. Here we feel such things are a waste of time.
Here, dishonesty and deception simply do not exist. We interact on a level of truth and mutual respect that far exceeds normal human standards. Each entity here understands and acknowledges the importance of all others. , Consideration of the thoughts and feelings of others goes beyond mere courtesy. We have come to an agreement that each of us just "are". We all do what we do. We are who we are. There is never a feeling here of being less or more than another. Different certainly. Individual absolutely. Yet each is the same in importance and worth as another. Here, we understand that all were created from the same source. We are loved and cherished by that source who empowered and freed us, by our choice, to embrace and return the love of that source.
I have mentioned that I leave often to visit other entities that are like those here but have chosen to remain among humans on a full time basis. Some of them choose this because they feel their presence will have a positive impact. Some simply do so because they are curious. Some have not yet tired and feel no need to rest. One such entity is a woman whose name means High Wisdom. She has not so much an interest in the development of humanity. Perhaps caring as little as my demon lover as to whether humans ever evolve. "They will or they will not", is her position. She is simply here to observe.
Thankfully, High Wisdom is willing to enter into discussion with others like her. Probably because she knows none of us feel the need to question her knowledge of self. Her and I spent the last two evenings, in human time, engrossed in an ongoing discussion with regards to freedom of choice. As part of that discussion, the topic of evil inevitably came up. A topic discussed by humans with much distaste, but viewed by us here as something that simply is. I have yet to meet a non-human who views evil as a threat; nor have I met one who sees demons as being very much different from the rest of us.
Before I venture further into this particular topic please know that I am aware that it may cause some confusion and discomfort. I will attempt to make this easier for you, to simplify things as much as possible. Honestly though I know humans to be intelligent beings. Who when given an opportunity to explore their inner strength, the human spirit is capable of tremendous feats. I will not always choose my words carefully as I am fully convinced you are more than ready to hear. What I have been told needs to be said. For the moment, I will tread lightly and offer a light introduction to our version of reality here.
We view, as do humans, ‘evil’ as the opposite of ‘good’. Simple and basic. I will explore the meanings of these things more deeply later. Here we also see, as some of you do, that the world always has and must continue to maintain a balance. We here know, as you do not, that the maintenance of that balance is not in the battle between good and evil. The balance is the acceptance of the existence and importance of both good and evil.
Now you could say that evil does not exist. Attempting to deny its realty and shelter from the effects is like an ostrich hiding its head in the sand when a predator approaches. You would simply be ignoring the oncoming threat to your continued existence. Not seeing the threat does not mean it does not exist. So if you accept that it is, real how do you protect yourself from it?
You do so by choice...
Yes we are back to choice again. Get used to it. You will often hear choice is the basis of all that is.
Let’s back track and use our resident demon as an example. We here understand his nature, and acknowledge that he was created by the same source from whence we ourselves come. We here do not question his actions, as his actions are true to his nature. In accepting that he is merely acting on the natural instincts of who and what he was created to be, we here free ourselves from the danger that his nature presents to us. We here know that being demonic, his main concern is his own enjoyment and entertainment. We here also know that those things he wishes to do are to him merely a form of play. We here can either stop a while to play with him or we can choose to take our ball and go home.
In human terms, if you happen to be hanging out with our resident demon you would no doubt be exposed to all sorts of temptations. You see he does not much care what effects the substance he abuses have on his body or his life. When the resident demon's body is used up, he can and will go get another one. As humans you may very well care if the alcohol you drink damages your liver or if the drugs you take make you unproductive and idol. You and the other humans you share your life with probably care a great deal. And if you care, you will feel at times either ashamed or guilty at partaking in these pastimes. One knows these vices are dangerous and yet you continue. You abuse yourselves for the sake of a temporary feeling of euphoric freedom.
Here’s the catch, if you really wanted that freedom and you really understood how easy it is to achieve euphoria. You would not need the assistance of these things and you may very well choose not to do them. They would not be necessary for your happiness and would therefore hold no interest to you.
Now you wish to know how the demon and his habits come into play. Well that’s just it. The demon likes to play and will continue to do so with or without you. So you have a choice; stay to play knowing fully the cost of the losing the game or take your ball and go home. This is how we live here. We choose at any given moment whether or not we wish to play.
Do you really think for one second the demon cares if you drink what he drinks or smoke what he smokes? He doesn’t. If you choose to join in, the demon sees that as your choice. Do not think the demon will waste time on pondering whether his actions are influencing yours. He will simply assume you know what you are doing. It is not for him to be responsible for your actions. The demon is only responsible for his own actions and will not stop in order to moderate or save you from yours.
This is why demons, when not recognized for who and what they are, can have a negative impact on humans. For the most part, demons do not act with the intent to harm; they simply do so because they are who they are. Ask your average demon why he does act a certain way and he will tell you it is because he can.
In saying all of that, there are those whose interest it is to control and invade. We will discover them later. I only wish to share with you that even those entities, as dangerous as they can be, are also from the same source. When one comes to understand their nature, one can detach themselves from the potential threat that their nature poses.
High Wisdom watches all of these happenings with mild interest. If she decides to allow me to pull her into discussion about such things, it is usually for the sake of allowing me to explore them. When we do talk it is often one sided. I try to explain at great lengths the things I have learned and seen. She takes the stance of agreeing that these things are as they seem to be. Every once in awhile she does forget herself long enough to release little snippets of wisdom. For the most part she merely nods her head and says “Yes, yes, do as you feel you must”.
High Wisdom agrees that evil, as humans refer to the opposite of good, is something that simply is. She does not fear or worry about evil's impact on her life. On the off chance evil comes knocking at her door, High Wisdom knows that if she does not invite 'evil' in it will simply turn around and go someplace where it is welcome. She also knows that to invite evil in is to risk losing herself. Since High Wisdom is rather fond of who she is, she wishes to remain a whole her.
You may ask what is this evil I speak of? Evil is a parasite feeding off the energies of humans. Much like a black hole, evil sucks in all light until the light simply ceases to exist. Evil exists merely to devour energy. It does not think to do these things and its purpose is its hunger for those energies. Evil acts on instinct, much like a dog following its nose to a source of food, it reaches out blindly seeking that which sustains it.
Scary as hell if you have no idea what you are facing. If you study it, watch it, learn its nature and its purpose you can find ways to avoid it. If a spaceship detected a black hole on its radar would it risk flying too close? Knowing the destructive nature of the black hole the ship would likely avoid it completely. Unless of course captained by a demon who may very well decide to fly into the hole merely for the experience. If the hypothetical demon captain decided to do so, the excitement of a new adventure would likely cause him to forget his crew. If the demon did remember that he had a crew, he may feel that being chosen to be captain the demon had the right to make choices for his crew. Choosing the side of excitement and adventure, the demon captain would fly the ship directly into the hole and watch in fascination as his ship, his crew and he himself were destroyed. Such is the nature of the demon.
As for the hole, it would devour the ship without ever knowing it was causing harm. To know such a thing is not in its nature. The black hole was simply not designed to care. Do you get angry with the black hole for existing? This is my question. Do you feel it has any less right to be than you?
If the black hole was in your path, it may be inconvenient to go around. But go around you would and seek out another path to your destination. Would you waste time trying to find ways to change the black hole? Would you attempt to alter it? Would you argue or fight with it? Or would you accept that it is as it is and leave it be?
Perhaps due to the loss of a ship, somebody would have had to study and learn about the black hole to recognize how to avoid it in the future. People would recognize its danger and know that it should be avoided. The knowledge would then be passed to others so they too could identify and avoid the black hole. The word then spreads and future ships are saved.
Such is our supposed battle with evil, it must be studied so it can be recognized for the danger that it is. Then if one wishes to not be destroyed all one has to do is to go around it. So simple and yet...
We liken what we see on earth to that of a young child who first discovers that fire is hot. Inevitably in order to understand heat, the child fist has to get burned...
Once burned the child, while still in its early years, may very well fear the pain of getting to close to the flame. As the child grows it comes to understand the nature of the flame. Nearing its adolescence the flame becomes useful, a tool that can be wielded to either create or destroy. The flame burns away material and in doing so destroys; yet its energy produces the heat and light humans crave.
You are nearing the end of your adolescence and you have learned the use of the flame. You have not yet completely come to understand that by its very nature it is a destructive source of light. To create that which you think you need, you feed the fire allowing it to consume that which you think you do not. That also is a choice; you choose what the fire consumes. You choose for how long the fire burns and for what purpose. If you turn your back on it, forget it is there, walk away from it, the fire has the potential to burn out of control and destroy everything in its path.
Such is the nature of evil, and such is the nature of human interaction with it. Like the black hole which scientists now believe may also have its uses, if you do not know it and see it, it may just suck you in. Like the flame, if you attempt to use and control it but forget the destructive force that it has the potential to be you may very well get burned.
Chapter 3
Everything you can imagine is real
Pablo Picasso
Hmmm... I suppose it's not nice to bringing up such a nasty subject so early on. As with many others of my kind, it is by design that I visit earth at times solely to be used as a tool. We here have freedom of choice as you do. Our choice has and forever will be to fulfill our purpose. Often in order to do so, we must briefly release our tentative link to our human shells. We allow our spirits to be guided by the powerful forces that created us. Once this is done the energies we channel are no longer ours to control.
We come to your home willingly. Knowing before we come there we will suffer, laugh, love, cry, feel pain, and hunger as you do. We understand when we make that choice that there will be a length of time, possibly many human years, that will be filled with pain and confusion. We accept that allowing ourselves to be born here is to allow ourselves to briefly forget who we are.
It is only in the extreme early years when we are not able to communicate with you that we are allowed a brief period of adjustment. A period when the memories and knowledge of the spirit are married and become one with the flesh. As our bodies grow, outside influence begins to affect us. That which we are recedes. Pulling back just enough to allow us to fully experience what it is to be human.
It is our way, our purpose, our choice...
Why do we do these things? Willing giving up of self? For whom do we do it for?
The answer to that is not as simple as other answers you seek but I will nonetheless try to explain.
We do it for ourselves because the core of who we are wishes to continue to expand and grow. The nourishment we require for that growth is knowledge and experience. The result of that growth is the hunger for more growth. We are immortal and our existence is a never-ending cycle. As with all things in nature we are born, we live and we die only to be returned to the place from whence we came to be born again. Being immortal, we must for the sake of ourselves continue to move, explore and experience. If we stop, we become dormant. We do not cease to exist, but our existence no longer has purpose. To exist without purpose is in our hearts not to exist at all. So we venture out, continually renewing ourselves in different forms in order to fulfil our purpose and thereby maintain our existence.
It is as are most things in all worlds a paradox too confusing for the average mind to grasp and hold for long. However, it is magnificent in its simplicity.
We exist to fulfil our purpose and our purpose is to continue to exist.
Confused?
Don’t be, in fact now that you know, do not waste your energy pondering these things. Allow the information in these pages to flow through you but do not try to cling to any of it. Let it go. Allow it to be as free as it was meant to be. It is not given to you so that your mind can dissect and explore it. The knowledge is being given to you so that your heart and spirit can feel its presence and know of its existence. When you are ready, the part of you that is the true you will call this information back. You will become one with both the knowledge and yourself completing this stage of your growth. For the moment you need only know that in time, you will come to know yourself as a whole person.
Which brings me to the second reason for us coming to earth. We come here for you. We have come for the humans who we have for centuries watched and studied. We have come for the humans whom we here have shared many lives and adventures. We have come for the humans that we have watched the miraculous birth and growth of. It is for you the humans, whom we cherish. We have come for you, the humans we love.
We have co-existed since the time of Adam and Eve's birth. Unbeknownst to you, we have lived among you, walked with you, and shared all your sorrows and all your joys. We have learned from you what it is to cherish these beautiful gifts with which you the human are naturally born. Emotion, feeling, and need...these things are in you. It is these things we crave. You have no idea how very lucky you are. Since the beginning of time, we have attempted to instil a thirst for the knowledge you need to enjoy the miraculous blessings you have been so graciously given.
We have watched in bewilderment your growth. Much like an older sibling watches a younger child learning to talk and walk. An older human child would try perhaps to stop the infant from falling, but the parent instinctively knows that sometimes it is OK for the child to fall.
This has been our relationship with you. We are not the parent. We too have had to grow and learn with you. In your early years we were hovering, sheltering, and protecting you. That is until a wise parent noticed and told us, "Leave the baby be, the baby has to learn". So we ourselves learned to let you go. We let you take your first tentative awkward steps. We allowed you to stumble and fall at the advice of those much older and wiser than ourselves.
Still we remained close by. Watching out for you and attempting to steer you away from dangers that could damage your growth. We have remained to observe from a distance. Just far enough to give you room to grow, yet close enough to be at hand if needed. We have learned from you the incredible significance of that growth and watched with fascination the process of that growth.
We shook our heads at your early childhood games. Your many fights with one another over the shiny new toys you acquired. We wanted so much to give you all a toy of your own, but were told "No they must learn to share. Do not interfere. Let them work it out".
We have stood by as you have created your individual groups of friends, your cliques. We watched as you separated from each other. In your early years, you preferred to spend time with those who thought and acted as you did. We were reassured, even as we worried over your choice of friends, that this too was only a phase. You would soon outgrow these childish things as well.
We have watched with some distaste your attempts to bully and control each other. Sometimes we encouraged you to walk away from those who would do you harm. At other times we lent you the knowledge and the strength to stand up for that which you believe. All of this, we have seen. As you near the latter stages of your adolescence, we have been given permission to offer you our hand as a guide those of you willing to listen. A hand to advise those of you mature enough to understand.
We know teenagers are stubborn and many of you are wilful and independent. We acknowledge that during this particular stage of your growth, you will fight more than ever before for the chance to go your own way. We also know that to force you in any way, and give you too many rules to follow will only cause you to rebel. It will cause you to go in a direction that may cause you harm.
So we have come as your older brothers and sisters. We have not come to tell you how to live your lives or to tell you what choices to make, but to share with you our experience, our knowledge. We have come to tell you stories of our own growth. And to share with you our cherished childhood reminiscing of our many adventures. We have come to impart the wisdom of what we have learned through our own mistakes and allow you to make the choice of which path you wish to follow.
All we can do is tell you where we have been, where we are and how we got there. We can also tell you where we’re going; ask you if you wish to come along and hope against hope that you are ready for the adventures to come.
It is our desire you see our intent and our purpose. We wish to be with you as you breach the boundary between adolescent and adult, as you come into your own and discover yourself. As you define for yourselves and your purpose, by your side we wish to walk. As you were, as you are, and as you will be. We are your family and it will in the end be a glorious reunion.
Finally we choose to come to Earth to honour and pay homage to that which created us. To honour the vast glorious force that willed us into being. To honour the energy that sustains us and defines for us our purpose. It is out of understanding and gratitude for our Creator that we so willingly fulfil that purpose. Without our Mother/Father we simply would not be. Out of respect for the gift of life we have been given, we continue to return to you as we have been asked to do.
We feel no shame in our adoration of that entity. There is no fear of wrath if we fail. We are destined to succeed at fulfilling the purpose we were originally designed. As such, we do not know self doubt. We simply do as we are told and love and embrace what we do.
Now you ask, but who are we? How do we know you? Where do we find you?
We are among you. We are in every country, on every continent, in small towns and big cities. We are your authors, your teachers, your musicians, your actors, your leaders, your healers.
We are your mothers and fathers. We are your brothers and sisters. We are your children. We are the wealthy, and the powerful. We are the homeless and the orphans.
We live among you in all races, creeds and colors. In all status, position, and in every age we exist.
You work and play with us. You feed and are fed by us. You teach and are taught by us.
We know you even as you do not know us. As you read this your heart and your spirit will recognize that we are with you.
You need not attempt to recognize us. Your heart and spirit already know us. All you need do is allow your spirit to guide you to us.
We remain hidden among you waiting until the day that you will welcome and embrace us. Then we can finally walk with you free of the illusion we have maintained out of necessity. The day will come when you will know and love us. We will then again be the family we were created to be. It will be the most glorious and spectacular of reunions.
Each of us who travels to earth does so with a unique and individual purpose. We are united in our goal to fulfil our destiny and guided by the same force and working towards the inevitable completion of the Master Plan. Each and every one of us are here by design to complete unique and individual tasks. Some of us go to Earth to observe. Some of us come to heal. Some come to protect and some to guide. Some of us even may come to wage war.
We do these things in our chosen interactions with you the human: in the lives we choose to live, the families we choose to be born into, the occupations we choose to explore, and in the people we choose to be.
I am a messenger, created and designed to gather and communicate knowledge and experience. That is my role, my purpose, and my life.
I am a pen. A simple tool used to document the observations and acquired wisdoms of others. As with a pen, it is my task to write what the hand that guides me wishes me to write. I can neither question nor dispute the information that flows through me. That is not my task. It is not my role, or my purpose.
As with all tools, I will eventually become worn with repeated use. After a time, pens run out of ink. Thankfully, I am refillable. This means that when finally I am no longer able to write, the hand that holds me merely has to make the choice to continue to use me. If I am a good pen, and the ink flows freely onto the page, then the hand that holds me will have no desire to put me down. I know that if I continue to fulfil my task, I will continue to be refilled. I allow myself to be guided smoothly across the page of life. That is my role, my purpose.
I will not hide from you the fact that I will and do get tired. The hand that holds me is wise. In the interest of caring for the hand's tools, the ink is never allowed to completely run dry. The hand puts down the pen and allows it to rest. The pen is refilled and its use is restored. Tenderly, the pen is picked up again and begins to write once more.
Artists know this as they use brushes. With this tool they create wondrous works of art. If you watch closely, an artist will lovingly run their fingers over the collection of brushes before choosing the one they need to create the perfect stroke. Musicians know this in their care of the instruments they choose to play. The musician spends much time and effort maintaining the clarity of sound of their chosen instrument.
All those who use tools to build, repair, or create know that only in the maintenance of their tools can they continue to complete each new project efficiently and effectively. Doctors know their scalpels must be sharp, sterile, and strong. Even librarians carefully check each book in their care. Those books that are damaged can be set aside for repair. Every librarian knows that if the pages are damaged, the information contained within may not be complete.
As a tool that is so lovingly cared for, so diligently maintained, how can one complain? When the welfare of the tool is the main concern of the hand that wields it, what has one to fear?
Still tools get tired and worn and are put aside so they may be repaired. It is in those times of rest that the pen may, for a time, forget that it is a pen. Such has been my existence. I have been allowed to forget that I am a pen. I have been set aside at times so I can be refilled. Sometimes I have been set aside simply because I am not needed at the moment.
It is in those moments of rest that I am closely connected to my human nature. In those moments when the words cease to flow, I am given time to reflect on what I’ve learned and observed of my surroundings. It is in those moments that I struggle the most. I feel during those moments that I am not being used for the task I was designed to do.